You might be a Knox Countian if...

[SnM]

Snark Bites: Knox County mayor wants mental 'debt police' in county officials

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett doesn't want to spend taxpayer dollars on thought police. He just wants Knox County officials to police their thoughts on financial matters.

Two years ago, Burchett rode to victory on a one-trick pony of a campaign promise to restore the rule of law to the disorderly county debt. Now, he and Knox County Commission Chairman Tony Norman want to deputize internal "debt police" for county officials.

Burchett and Norman are sponsoring a resolution that would require county officials to create these internal debt police, who would handcuff their brains if they thought about anything but paying down the county debt.

This would mean that, as Burchett continues to auction off pieces of Knox County at local flea markets, thoughts of spending the proceeds for county needs would be under house arrest.

"We have ways of thinking that have become delinquent and we need to detain them," the mayor said. "Unlike folks in other governments, who encourage creative ideas about financial management, we must restrict ourselves to debt reduction alone."

The resolution reads, "Whereas love of money is the root of all evil, I hereby acknowledge the best way to avoid being seduced by those tempting greenbacks is to assign debt police to patrol my financial thoughts. Thus, I now authorize my debt deputy to throw my brain in debtors' prison if it considers investing in infrastructure or other verboten ideas."

Burchett said the resolution "keeps my mind from loitering and eliminates the need for officials to practice self-control."
Norman agreed.

"Everyone will benefit from a fiscally conservative sheriff of our synapses," he said.

Not everyone, however, is agreeing to go quietly with the duo's psychological security forces...

[SnM]

Snark Bites: Knox County mayor wants mental 'debt police' in county officials

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett doesn't want to spend taxpayer dollars on thought police. He just wants Knox County officials to police their thoughts on financial matters.

Two years ago, Burchett rode to victory on a one-trick pony of a campaign promise to restore the rule of law to the disorderly county debt. Now, he and Knox County Commission Chairman Tony Norman want to deputize internal "debt police" for county officials.

Burchett and Norman are sponsoring a resolution that would require county officials to create these internal debt police, who would handcuff their brains if they thought about anything but paying down the county debt.

This would mean that, as Burchett continues to auction off pieces of Knox County at local flea markets, thoughts of spending the proceeds for county needs would be under house arrest.

"We have ways of thinking that have become delinquent and we need to detain them," the mayor said. "Unlike folks in other governments, who encourage creative ideas about financial management, we must restrict ourselves to debt reduction alone."

The resolution reads, "Whereas love of money is the root of all evil, I hereby acknowledge the best way to avoid being seduced by those tempting greenbacks is to assign debt police to patrol my financial thoughts. Thus, I now authorize my debt deputy to throw my brain in debtors' prison if it considers investing in infrastructure or other verboten ideas."

Burchett said the resolution "keeps my mind from loitering and eliminates the need for officials to practice self-control."
Norman agreed.

"Everyone will benefit from a fiscally conservative sheriff of our synapses," he said.

Not everyone, however, is agreeing to go quietly with the duo's psychological security forces...

Today's editorial harmonizes with the snark:

Editorial: No need to change Knox surplus property policy

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...

At least 1,000 attend gun rally in Nashville
Three wounded at shooting at Dixie Gun & Knife Show

With sincere apologies to Sir Paul,

My Gun
And when I blow away
I know my bullets spray from my gun, it's understood
You're in the sights of my gun, and my gun does hit good
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, my gun does hit good

And when the chamber's bare
The magazine's still there for my gun
It's understood, I'm everywhere with my gun
And my gun does hit good

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, my gun does hit good

Oh, I love, oh, whoa......my gun
Only my gun holds the other clip for me
Oh....my gun oh...my love
Only my gun does hit good to me

(solo)

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, my gun does hit good

Don't ever ask me why, I never say goodbye to my gun
It's understood, I'm everywhere with my gun
And my gun does hit good

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, my love does hit good

Oh, I love, oh, whoa......my gun
Only my gun does hit good to-oooo me
Woooooooooooooh

Tenn. pols hope gun bill won't hurt VW chances

"You can have jobs when you pry our guns from our cold, deadly guns-in-trunks-in-parking-lots-of-businesses-that-don't-want-them-there legislation"

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Council holds workshop and makes 2013 goals

...Councilman Daniel Brown recognized that there may be a bully in the group, based on blind surveys from council members. Former attorney and outspoken Councilman Nick Della Volpe called himself a bully...

Perhaps Councilman Della Volpe could apply his aggressiveness to this project:

Knoxville looks to hire collection agency for delinquent bills

[SnM]

Success!

Most provisional ballots cast in TN went uncounted

NASHVILLE - Nearly four out of five provisional ballots cast in Tennessee in November were tossed out, according to statewide data, indicating that measures meant to ensure all legitimate votes were included resulted in only a few more being counted...

[Hayduke]

Wow. Must have been thousands of cases of voter fraud. I assume prosecutions will be forthcoming.

[SnM]

Two men shot in Cumberland Avenue gunfight

If only several citizens legally allowed to conceal carry handguns were there to lay down a suppressive fire and pin down the miscreants until the local constabulary arrived.

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Could be good news...

Patrick Sullivan's building under contract

[SnM]

Snark Bites: Knox County mayor wants mental 'debt police' in county officials

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett doesn't want to spend taxpayer dollars on thought police. He just wants Knox County officials to police their thoughts on financial matters.

Two years ago, Burchett rode to victory on a one-trick pony of a campaign promise to restore the rule of law to the disorderly county debt. Now, he and Knox County Commission Chairman Tony Norman want to deputize internal "debt police" for county officials.

Burchett and Norman are sponsoring a resolution that would require county officials to create these internal debt police, who would handcuff their brains if they thought about anything but paying down the county debt.

This would mean that, as Burchett continues to auction off pieces of Knox County at local flea markets, thoughts of spending the proceeds for county needs would be under house arrest.

"We have ways of thinking that have become delinquent and we need to detain them," the mayor said. "Unlike folks in other governments, who encourage creative ideas about financial management, we must restrict ourselves to debt reduction alone."

The resolution reads, "Whereas love of money is the root of all evil, I hereby acknowledge the best way to avoid being seduced by those tempting greenbacks is to assign debt police to patrol my financial thoughts. Thus, I now authorize my debt deputy to throw my brain in debtors' prison if it considers investing in infrastructure or other verboten ideas."

Burchett said the resolution "keeps my mind from loitering and eliminates the need for officials to practice self-control."
Norman agreed.

"Everyone will benefit from a fiscally conservative sheriff of our synapses," he said.

Not everyone, however, is agreeing to go quietly with the duo's psychological security forces...

Knox panel tables resolution requiring surplus proceeds to go toward debt

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Knoxville tops the list of America's Bible-minded cities

God has given even the Gentiles the repentance that leads to life.