You might be a Knox Countian if...

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

Rosebud Lodge's Web site sheds Knox County GOV text
Nudist colony now open to all, but opposition builds to allowing Knox Countians

From APB reports. KINGSTON, Tenn. - First pitched on the Internet as a planned colony for Knox County Government types, the Web site for the proposed Rosebud Lodge near here had changed drastically by Thursday morning.

Earlier, the lodge was touting itself as a private resort for the "Knox County GOV (government) Community."

A collage of smiling Knox County GOVs was prominently featured.

Now, the Rosebud Lodge Web site - www.rosebudlodge.com - merely describes itself as a private resort for nudists older than 18 that's "a dream in the making." In tiny print at the bottom of the site are the words "And Knox County GOVs are welcome, too."

Numerous Roane Zone residents are up in arms over the original description even as the would-be developer is reportedly labeling initial concerns a misunderstanding.

"The folks in the Roane Zone don't want even a Knox Countian colony in the Roane Zone, let alone a Knox County GOV colony," said a resident who lives next door to the site. "We don't mind the nudists, but we don't need any of that 'Knox County GOV' lifestyle here abouts."

A move to rezone the 60-acre tract at the end of Skyline Drive next to Clinch River goes before the 10-member Roane County Planning Commission on May 21 in the courthouse.

The Roane Zone zoning officer says some churches plan to cancel their normal Wednesday services so congregants can attend the meeting.

"I've not had anyone in favor of Knox County GOVs in the Roane Zone," Christopher said of the rezoning. "Everyone is opposed."

Calls Thursday to the number listed both on the rezoning application and the Rosebud Lodge Web site were routed to the Knox County government switchboard and ended with the person who answered hanging up abruptly.

While its possible use as a nudist colony is a concern for many Roane Zoners, most said they were more worried about long-term property value declines from rezoning to allow Knox Countians.

"If it (the land) got rezoned and it (Knox County) went broke, some guy that crunches old cars could move in there," said one resident. "Look at it this way: With everything you know about Knox County government, would you want Knox Countians moving in next to you? Not only would your property values drop further'n sh*t from an eagle, everybody would be laughing at you like you had eagle sh*t on your head."

Plans for Rosebud Lodge include hotels that accept P-cards, lobster buffets, a wheel tax, travel allowances and other amenities.

The Roane Zone's mayor is most worried about the infrastructure surrounding the area. The road leading to the campground property is only wide enough for one vehicle. "How could we handle all those county-provided vehicles with their travel-allowance gas and exhaust," he lamented. "I think the Planning Commission will be listening to the community, but, with all the money Knox County GOVs can throw around, you never know."

In an effort to stave off the Knox County GOV invasion, Roane’s planning commission has actually taken the time to print off copies of the request for the zoning change and the Rosebud Lodge’s website. They have a stack of them just sitting on the counter in their offices to distribute to any and all who wish to prevent Knox County from infiltrating the Roane Zone.

More as the story develops.

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

YOUR COUNTY GOVERNMENT WINS AWARDS!!!...

...for the reporters covering the mess that your county gov has made of itself. But, hey, the reporters couldn't have won the awards if your county government hadn't provided the mess for them to cover, right? So everybody's a winner! Go-oooooooooooooo team! YAY!

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

County Commission to Greenwaste Processor: "Your Sh*t Stinks!!!
County Evaluation Team to Greenwaste Processor: "We love your sh*t, man!!!"

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE, Tenn. A five-member evaluation team will recommend awarding a 10-year contract for processing greenwaste to Natural Resources Recovery of Tennessee (NRRT). Despite unresolved litigation, questions over money due to the county and numerous citizen complaints in the last three years, members of the evaluation team said NRRT "had passed the smell test."

One member of the evaluation team asserted that "NRRT has some good sh*t, man."

Paul Pinkston has been the most outspoken critic of NRRT for its failure to observe the revenue sharing provision of the current contract. Conceivably, hundreds of thousands of dollars are at stake, but for Pinkston the issue is simple:

“Why should we be doing business with a company that owes us money?”

Another evaluation team member responded simply by insisting, "It's the best sh*t, man!"

Late last year, a lawsuit was filed by Brad Mayes, a local mulch dealer, alleging the company made false claims in reporting the sweetness of its sh*t. Knox County subsequently joined the lawsuit – against its own vendor – and a mediation session is scheduled for June 11.

For the county, at issue is a provision in its contract that its sh*t come with no sweet-smelling additives. The county accuses NRRT of using smell enhancers. NRRT disputes the claim, alleging that the county just smells bad in comparison.

Yet the evaluation panel still recommended NRRT for the new contract, which includes an option to renew for an additional 10 years.

Marketing and public relations firm Ackermann PR represents NRRT.

“We’re obviously pleased that Knox County has stopped to 'smell the roses,” said Ackermann representative Mike Cohen. He declined additional comment.

The evaluators included Tom Salter, solid waste director; David Griffin from the Public Building Authority; Matt Myers, contracts administrator for Knox County purchasing; Dr. Richard Buggelin of UT’s Center for Industrial Services; and Lynne Liddington, director of air quality management. Only Liddington did not rate NRRT the top choice.

Liddington said she was not privy to the other evaluations, but she approached hers from her background in air quality issues.

“I did a comparison smell test,” Liddington said. "They passed with flying colors."

Salter, who replaced the late John Evans last December, said the decision had to be based upon the proposals.

“We were carefully instructed to evaluate the smells based upon the RFP (request for proboscis) itself,” said Salter. Salter said he “expects a discussion” when the proposal comes before County Commission.

“I’m hoping the smells that commission is concerned about will be fully sniffed out at mediation,” he said.

[spinetingler]

Liddington said she was not privy to the other evaluations

That's almost red-cubable.

[SnM]

That's almost red-cubable.

Heh, I plead not guilty. That was a quote straight from the first linked article. Serendipitous convergence of lampoon and reality.

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

Final audit: Ragsdale's J's Mega Mart expense "still questionable"

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE, Tenn. Knox County's auditor this afternoon released a long-awaited final audit of a 2005 charge at J's Mega Mart by County Mayor Mike Ragsdale, including auditor Richard Walls' rebuttal to the administration's assertion that the mayor was "cleared" of expenditures at J's Mega Mart.

"Despite the supporting documentation provided for the purchasing card transactions, the 'legitimate business purpose' of the $19.65 purchase at J's on September 30, 2005, still remains shrouded in mystery," the audit states.

While noting that J's is an excellent venue to obtain cigarettes, lottery game cards, do-rags, hats and most especially wigs, the audit emphasizes the guidelines of the Knox County Travel Policy Handbook, which states that "charges for wigs and other hairpieces will not be allowed in any circumstance."

Walls, who's appointed by County Commission, released a preliminary draft in February that cited almost $48,000 in inadequately documented charges by Ragsdale and his staff.

Today's final audit still cites $39,115 in questionable expenditures - $29,544 with missing receipts or documentation and $9,571 that have insufficient documentation of the business purpose justifying it.

On page 35 of the audit, in Exhibit 3, "Knox County Mayor's Office Questionable Transactions Remaining -- Michael Ragsdale Purchasing Card," Item #46 is listed as 9/30/05/ J's Mega Mart/ $19.65.

"But the really, really puzzling one is J's," said Walls. "I'm confident that whatever it was, it was a legitimate business is expense. It's just driving me crazy trying to think what it might be. Knives -- they've got good knives cheap at J's. Maybe a visiting dignitary wanted a knife as a memento? Maybe something to gnosh? 'Cos the mayor did a lot of P-card dining."

The audit also address local meals.

Ragsdale's office spent $34,000 on local meals from October 2002 to May 2007.

Walls said his staff was unable to find a reference to local meals in the purchasing card entries under the general ledger account "Purchases at J's Mega Mart." Walls said that account is for "eggs, milk, toilet plungers, Jones soda, cook ware, utensils, and dinnerware, expenses for human food supplies, and animal food and supplies and haberdashery incidentals."

"It is not clear that this is related to meals acquired at local restaurants," Walls wrote.

The mayor's office issued a statement insisting that the J's Mega Mart $19.65 charge was "cleared."

"It was cleared, it is cleared and it's going to stay cleared," reads the statement in part. "It's as clear a sky-blue spring day, and that's pretty darn clear. Question any of the other charges all you want -- but the $19.65 at J's, it's cleared I tell you!"

More details as the plot sickens.

[bird_dog]

"as the plot sickens"

Darn, you're good!

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

Shocking County Gov Exposé:
"Missing" P-card charges went for Nigerian scams, replica watches

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE, Tenn. In a surprising twist, an insider in the county mayor's administration says the reason almost $40,000 in P-card charges remains undocumented in the final audit of county P-card activity is "embarrassment over official gullibility."

The source, who spoke only on condition of anonymity for fear of having his P-card privileges revoked, says most of the remaining undocumented P-card charges went toward a variety of Internet scams.

Despite the lack of documentation, the source says most of the charges went toward "typical Internet scams. The Nigerian scam, the European lottery scam, the British inheritance scam, the client referral loan scam, auction scams, pyramid scams, work-from-home scams, replica watches and jewelry, and men's health products."

Of this last item, the source would say nothing more because of "fear of violating HIPAA laws." But he provided details on some of the others.

"One lady thought she was going to get rich working from home in the evenings," said the source. "She was going to book cruises and get a percentage of the total cost of each cruise package she booked. Of course, she only winded up charging herself for the one cruise she booked for herself."

"The mayor was so happy when he first got the Nigerian e-mail," the source continued. "He thought he was going to get a 1,000 percent return on investment for Knox County. When he realized he'd been taken, that's when he bought the 160,000 replica Cartier watches and bracelets. He was going to offer them to Knox Countians by way of apology for losing so much in the Nigerian scam. I talked him out of it. We still have several thousand of them stuffed on top of air ducts in the basement of the Andrew Johnson Building."

"You have to understand, these are very unsophisticated folks, real salt of the earth," the source explained. "They'd never been exposed to software more complicated than remote controls. They still look for 'spider beach' when you talk about surfing the web. They were buying into so many online scams, some of us took to calling P-cards G-cards, 'cause their users were so easily gulled."

"Online scams, that's where most of the missing money went," concluded the source. "But you know the one thing I can't explain? I can't explain what 'official county business' product the mayor bought for $19.65 at J's Mega Mart. That one's a mystery."

Next: The J's Mega-Mart P-Card Charge Mystery Deepens.

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

J's Mega Mart P-Card Charge Mystery "Baffling"
Commissioners "determined" to discover what $19.65 went for

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE, Tenn. The release of the completed audit of purchasing-card use in J's Mega Mart drew strong curiosity, as commissioners and attorneys representing former employees all focused their attention on finding out what the mayor had purchased there in 2005 for $19.65.

Commissioners will review the J's Mega Mart audit released Monday, and they're concerned about the broad range of items that might have to review to figure out what was purchased at J's. So far, the mayor's office has stonewalled on identifying what the purchase was, claiming the charge has been "cleared."

"It's as cleared as cleared can get," said the mayor's chief administrative officer, Dwight Van de Vate. "It couldn't be more clear if the mayor had bought Clearasil at J's and used it on the purchase receipt. Which I'm not saying he bought Clearasil for $19.65 at J's. I bet you could get Clearasil at J's though, and it wouldn't cost $19.65. But I'm just saying whatever it was, it's cleared. Clear as crystal, transparent as glass, see-through as a window, pellucid as gossamer -- C-L-E-A-R-E-D."

With the mayor's office stonewalling on the $19.65 question, Commission Chairman Thomas "Tank" Strickland had no choice but to send a letter to Ragsdale; his chief of staff, Mike Arms; Van de Vate; and county officials in finance, purchasing and human resources asking them to attend Monday's meeting.

Strickland also invited former officials suspected of using P-cards at J's, including Cynthia Finch, who was community services director and is accused of fabricating receipts and mixing expenses of the county and her sorority -- though not at J's; John Werner, who was finance director and has about $3,300 in questionable charges -- though not all at J's; Margie Loyd, who was Ragsdale's executive assistant -- though not when she was at J's; and Requitta Bone, who worked for Finch and bought plane tickets and other personal items on her county card -- but the plane tickets were not purchased at J's.

Commissioner Victoria DeFreese, obviously consternated, said, "Well, if he didn't buy plane tickets there, what did he get there? I mean, you can get practically anything at J's. For instance, I blew out a heel recently running to catch up with the WBIR cameras, so I dashed into J's and came out with $4 shoes to wear -- yes, I charged them to the county, but $4 is very frugal. I'm not sure if they were house slippers or flip-flops, but they got the job done. I've also gotten emergency oil for the car, dog food, eggs, bacon and cheese before a commission meeting. Oh, and a scarf for my hair when I lost a scarf on my way to the WATE and WVLT cameras. Which reminds me, does anybody know if they have pirate-themed doo-rags there? But anyway, what could the mayor have gotten there?"

"Wigs," said Commissioner Mike Hammond. "That's what J's is famous for. There have been entirely too many wigs purchased with P-cards against the guidelines of the Knox County Travel Policy Handbook, which states that 'charges for wigs and other hairpieces will not be allowed in any circumstance.'"

"We should not be buying wigs with taxpayer dollars - period," said Hammond, who also mentioned 18 other charges for wigs totaling $1,844. "That would not be acceptable in private business, and we certainly shouldn't accept wig purchases in taxpayer dollars. Didn't we learn anything from the city's taking of the Sunsphere from the citizens and turning it into a Wig Shop for a single episode of The Simpsons? So I bet it was a wig. No more wigs on taxpayer's dimes, darn it!"

Attorney Gregory P. Isaacs who represents Loyd said, "There are three things that are apparent from our firm's review of the audit," Isaacs said. "First, there are many common-sense items available at J's, curling irons, flat irons, hair dryers, sunglasses, jewelry, and tools, which the auditor's didn't note in his classification and characterization of the expenses. Second, the audit did not take into account self-evident information such as Miss Loyd's use of her p-card for conference travel for mayor's staff members at his direction, which was never done at J's. And last, current employees in the mayor's office were treated more favorably because they purchased records, calendars and other information at J's to put expenditures in business context."

David Burkhalter II, attorney for Finch, said there wasn't "a lot new" in the audit. "From our standpoint, the mayor and Mike Arms have some insufficient documentation and purposes for charges at J's," Burkhalter said. "We can't tell you what they bought. Look, you can get shoelaces, exotic clothing, gram scales, cigarettes, cigars, rolling tobacco, rolling papers, polska kielbasa, costume jewelry, crackers, candy, over-the-counter meds, assorted toiletries and more at J's -- but everybody knows that. It's the hop'nin' place to be!"

Asked if Finch could name lesser-known items available at J's, he said, "I'm not sure now's the time or place, since she's being sued."

Lewis Cosby, a retired certified public accountant who has often shopped at J's, called Walls' work "a good, thorough, professional audit that should be the final word on what has happened -- except for that odd $19.65. It's baffling."

"It could have been circuit boards, brass giraffes, NHL-themed ice scrapers, two-for-one back scratchers, or various manicure equipment useful for repairing laser printers," Cosby said.

Commissioner Paul Pinkston, chairman of the Finance Committee, began asking last May about the great inventory at J's.

"This has (dragged) out over nine months," Pinkston said. "All we can do is ask them what else you might get at J's."

At its May 27 meeting, the commission will consider an ordinance empaneling a panel with the power to launch an investigation with subpoena power to find out what was purchased at J's. But at next Monday's meeting, at Pinkston's suggestion, commission will consider forming a committee formally charged with "going to J's and using P-cards to purchase items, or combinations of items, until we find all possible purchases that might total up to $19.65. One way or the other, we will get to the bottom of that charge."

Pinkston said he's conducted his own "super-secret" investigation, going undercover to J's and taping his conversations with employees there. He said he found out that they had a large selection of doo rags (although no pirate-themed ones), green cubes, corn muffin mix, body stockings, and injection-molded statuary of Black Jesus playing football.

"They also have eye-color-disguising contact lenses -- they even have kicky tiger's eyes lenses -- not that I bought anything like that," Pinkston added.

"Now that it's out, come Monday, some of these commissioners are going to have to stop dragging their feet and realize -- you can get anything you heart...at J's Mega Mart," Pinkston said.




Thanks to secret shoppers D,I,M,B for the itemized lists.

[gordongekkojr]

Mayor's $10 large go bye-bye