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That is one wacky commission.
That is one wacky commission.
Hope for the best, but plan for worst.
I have seen many low points with this Commission. But last night they limboed lower than anyone could have imagined.
Hard to decide who the biggest crybaby there was, but I think Dwight Van de Vate took the honor. We could save a lot of time and money by just locking Mike Ragsdale and Scott Moore in a room with sharp farm implements and exiling the survivor.
Channel9, with so many YouTube and Veoh views it boggles the mind, not owned by the Knoxville News Sentinel, WATE, WBIR, WNOX, either Mayor, the School Board, the Sheriff, the former Sheriff, County Commission, or City Council.
It's all just a matter of which oligarchy gets to be the decider.
The paper says, "We decide, you comply".
You're so vain you probably think this post is about you. Don't you?
I really can't even begin to understand how the topic of God being under-represented made it to an honest-to-God vote.
I'm at a loss for words right now, but I'm hoping SnM will treat us to another wonderful satire.
Unfortunately, it would be almost impossible to top the actual discussion. Try to catch it in a rerun on CTV. I especially liked the part where Ivan Harmon waves a dollar bill around and offers to take anyone's money who doesn't think it should say "in God we trust." Also the part where Lumpy explains that the resolution wasn't divisive because it resulted in him having conversations with "Moslems" and pagans. He goes on to explain that they're all his new friends, along with Hindus and I forget who all else.Originally Posted by Gnaw Parker
A real barn burner, to be sure. I wish I could say it's such a big surprise, but those boys just keep hitting new lows.
when taxpayer money is involved, no one gets to be a prima donna.
Commission Approves Controversial Clause
Knoxville, TN -- from API reports. Early Tuesday morning the Knox County Commission passed a resolution that publicly recognizes Santa Claus as the foundation of our national heritage.
In the end, the commission voted 8-3 in favor of the "Santa Clause." That vote came after a revision adding the phrase "who have similar beliefs."
The resolution as passed reads:
"The Knox County Commission hereby urges all American citizens, who have similar beliefs, to proclaim to every level of government (Local, State, and Federal) its responsibility to publicly recognize Santa Claus as the Foundation of our National Heritage."
The resolution is only symbolic and carries no legal weight. Commissioners backing the resolution stress that they are not trying to push Christmas shopping on anyone.
"I think it's important this time of season and then, of course, the times we're having with commission with all the needy developers' children desperate for the G.I. Joe with the Kung-Fu Grip," chief Santa supporter Ivan Harmon said. "Boy, who better to call on than Santa Claus to help us get through this time?"
"It's not pushing our idea of gift-giving on people," chief elf and developer toy-bag stuffer Lumpy Lambert said. "It's basically us acknowledging that the founders of this country were capitalists. "
Lambert, a cosponsor of the resolution, said he'd received calls from a diverse population.
"I've heard from people who believed in Santa Claus, St. Nick, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Pere Noel, Befana, and even the 'Yule Buck,' Joulupukki. We have had some wonderful, heartfelt conversations," Lambert said. "I found that we had a good many things in common. Freedom of shopping does not mean freedom from shopping. Ultimately, everybody goes somewhere to shop. That's why it's important, especially this time of the year, to give the gift of tax breaks to developers who promise to build more strip malls."
Developer-sleigh-guider "Rudolph" Larry Smith said he's made several stands for Santa Claus.
"This is not saying you have to believe what we believe about Santa Claus, because, well, there's lots of different interpretations, and I, for instance, all that stuff about 'he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows if you've been bad or gone to a porn store' -- I mean, I'm not sure I believe in a magical being who has powers like that, except maybe for Tim Hutchison -- so I think there's room for even people who don't normally shop at malls to come together on this and support spending money," Smith said before he cast his vote in support of the clause.
"Speaking of money, if any of you have got money you don't want, I'll take it," said Ivan Harmon, who introduced and cosponsored the resolution. "The back of it says, 'In God We Trust,' and everybody knows God and Santa Claus both want us involved in commerce. So if you won't spend it, I will. Needy developers' children on counting on us -- especially this time of the year."
"Christmas shopping is such a very personal thing to all of us," Commissioner Mike Hammond said. "To vote against this would give the impression to some that we don't care about our relative and close friends who expect us to have goodies for them." He asked for the wording of the resolution to be changed to say citizens who have similar need for county handouts, rather than "all American citizens."
Knox County Moocher Mike Ragsdale, who was often at odds with commission over the course of a contentious evening, said he eagerly supported the clause. "I think it recognizes a fact of life in this county," said the moocher. "Giving expensive, secret gifts using money you don't have -- what could be more fundamentally Knox Countian than that?"
Last edited by SnM; 12-19-2007 at 01:52 PM.
Snark Bites - Knoxville's alternative reality news source
Ha.
I really still can't stop shaking my head about those commissioners.
Hope for the best, but plan for worst.
Goddamn them everyone.
Snark Bites - Knoxville's alternative reality news source
They're our own lil' Christmas Miracle.
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