You might be a Knox Countian if...

[SnM]

...your hometown event organizer puts together the most successful, massively varied show in the U.S., with 70+ acts on the bill...

...and all you can do is fixatedly bitch and moan and about one of them.*

You might be the Knox County Commission Chairman if...

...your reaction to announcement of the show is, "Bonnie Roux called in the poe-lease? Woffer? We ain't broke no laws!"

You might be a Knox County Commissioner if...

...as embarrassing as you already are, there are always new depths to which you can aspire to sink.














*you may also reside in Florida, New York or elsewhere and have a compulsion to do this. That's ok. It's just your nature, like the scorpion in the fable.

[Daizy]

.....if "getting to know" your seated County Commission officials means reading the daily exposes in the local newspaper AFTER they take office.

....if the owner of the local alternative paper runs full page ads for houses with vinyl siding.

....if you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a musician.

....if you occasionally buy one of those musicians a drink. (see y'all at happy hour Friday!)

[SnM]

You might be Knox County Commission Chairman...

...if you are giving away jars of Peter Pan and Great Value Peanut Butter as a gesture of your esteem for the voters of Knox County.

You might be a Knox Countian if...

...you eat the peanut butter.




















You might be a Knox Countian if...
...if government of the people, by the people, for the people was just a movie you saw a long, long time ago, far, far away.

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...
...you sense the ghost of Cas Walker is laughing at you.

You might be Knox County Commission Chairman if...

...you're conducting seances to get public relations tips from Cas Walker.

[SnM]

You might be the Knox County Commission if...

...a delegation of Iraqis from the United Nations Secretariat turns up to observe your proceedings, saying, "we are concerned that democracy as we know and cherish it is not taking root in this region."

You might be a Knox Countian if...

...you hate those slimy bastards on commission...

...but you ain't gonna stand for no outsiders tellin' you how to run yore gubmint.

[James]

...If you think if you build it they will come.

...If you think since you bought something from them they deserve your vote.

...If a big house, a big car and a big Wal-Mart is your American Dream.

...If you play guitar because your daddy did.

...If you have an orange sport jacket in your closet.

[trancendyce]

If you don't use your blinkers cause it ain't nobody's business which way you're going.

[SnM]

You might be a Knox County Commissioner if...

..."peckerhead" is just a term of endearment you use as part of your quaint, countryboy charm.

You might be a Knox Countian if...

..."all cockfighting, all the time" isn't as amusing as it used to be.

[SnM]

You might be a Knoxvillian if...

...you catch yourself only half-jokingly thinking, "if only Victor Ashe had run for County Mayor, none of this would be happening now."

You might be Knox County Commission chair if...

...Victor Ashe cables his congratulations on your "assertive" administrative style.

[SnM]

You might be a Knox Countian if...

...you long to send Lumpy, Scoobie and Ragsy to time out, then to bed without their supper.

Then spank the living shit out of them all night long.

All night. All night. All night long.