Snark Bites: Knox County mayor wants mental 'debt police' in county officials
Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett doesn't want to spend taxpayer dollars on thought police. He just wants Knox County officials to police their thoughts on financial matters.
Two years ago, Burchett rode to victory on a one-trick pony of a campaign promise to restore the rule of law to the disorderly county debt. Now, he and Knox County Commission Chairman Tony Norman want to deputize internal "debt police" for county officials.
Burchett and Norman are sponsoring a resolution that would require county officials to create these internal debt police, who would handcuff their brains if they thought about anything but paying down the county debt.
This would mean that, as Burchett continues to auction off pieces of Knox County at local flea markets, thoughts of spending the proceeds for county needs would be under house arrest.
"We have ways of thinking that have become delinquent and we need to detain them," the mayor said. "Unlike folks in other governments, who encourage creative ideas about financial management, we must restrict ourselves to debt reduction alone."
The resolution reads, "Whereas love of money is the root of all evil, I hereby acknowledge the best way to avoid being seduced by those tempting greenbacks is to assign debt police to patrol my financial thoughts. Thus, I now authorize my debt deputy to throw my brain in debtors' prison if it considers investing in infrastructure or other verboten ideas."
Burchett said the resolution "keeps my mind from loitering and eliminates the need for officials to practice self-control."
"Everyone will benefit from a fiscally conservative sheriff of our synapses," he said.
Not everyone, however, is agreeing to go quietly with the duo's psychological security forces...