FIRST WILDFLOWER!
Yes! You all are chumps. Even if you've SEEN a wildflower, I claimed it first, and no one will believe you.
Plus, you probably saw a crocus or a Lenten rose or one of those exotic freaks timed to some climate half a world away, or some lawn crap like heal-all. Fuck that, I saw a native wildflower, bitches. Back when it was STILL JANUARY. I am so the king of seeing the first wildflower.
It was a cut-leaved toothwort.
I will entertain claims of hepatica or bloodroot, but I don't want to hear any daffodil bullshit. What am I saying? To HELL with your hepatica. I am king!


Reply With Quote
