more! overheard conversation snippets

[Gnaw Parker]

October 26, 1985

"It appears that there is no change. For instance, she goes to jazzercise on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays--no supper until after her 7:30 arrival and, as a practical matter, supper is not finished til almost 9pm.
On Saturdays I go to my parents for breakfast and she goes to jazzercise, after which she has an appointment with her psychologist.
She then comes home in the afternoon after several errands.
On Wednesday she shops for groceries and on Wednesday and Friday she watches Dynasty and Dallas (without asking my preference).
These shows go off at 10pm.
On Sunday morning I go to church.
The only possible time we have together is Saturday and Sunday afternoons and Monday night.
We have had sex only three times in the past four weeks.
What time she isn't jazzercising or watching t.v. or seeing the psychologist or running errands, she is doing some form of work.
I plan to keep making logs of her activity for the next few weeks....

[Tess]

Hmmmmm.

The plot thickens, as I look into the mirror.

[gypsy]

2 older jewish couples at the diner the other afternoon, debating politics. one of the women said she wouldn't vote for obama, and the other man started asking her why.

him: why? why do you say that?
her: i don't know, there are lots of reasons.
him: what, which ones?
her: well, you know, israel...
him: see, israel! (looks around table to make his point.) that's the whole reason.
her: no, that's not the only reason.
him: so what reasons then?
her: oh, there are, you know...

[jcab]

Overheard at Market Square last year during Sundown. White guy on a cell phone talking to someone:

"He did what?"
silence
"Oh, man!"
silence
"That's the worst thing you can do, marry a black chick...."

[smalc]

Overheard in the parking lot of a neighboring business (they install sprinklers I think):

dude 1: dude, I can't work today.
dude 2: why the hell not?
dude 1: I'm sick.
dude 2: you look ok.
dude 1: dude, I'm bleeding out the ass!
dude 2: arright then.

[pillbilly]

Heading down to my buddy's boat, docked at a marina in Friendsville, we passed a couple of houseboat folks who were drinking & fishing (in that order).

My friend: Catchin' anything?

Houseboater: Nothin' but a buzz.

A few minutes later, from further down the dock...

Houseboater: BEEEEELCH!

Houseboatwife: I swear, Jim.

Houseboater: What!? It ain't bad manners, just good Millers!

[Georgia]

In OBGYN's office this morning-

Momma, you need to do this.

No, I don't need no monogram done.

Yes Momma, you really do.

Do I have to fill out any more paperwork cause if I do, I ain't having no monogram.

[flypony]

Lemme tell ya, don't ever sit next to a group of horse women in a restaurant. Topics that are completely normal to us tend to horrify the innocent public.

Last year, just days after mom was diagnosed with cancer, I was in a funk, almost 200 miles away, and wanted desperately to do something meaningful for her. So, I stopped in the local christian bookstore to pick up one of those Willow Tree angels that mom loves. My phone rings, and I see that it is the owner of the stallion that I am breeding my mare to (via artificial insemination....daddy horse is several states away). I answer, and oblivious to the people around me, proceed to have a conversation about sperm count, ovulation, and the next semen shipment. Just as I hang up the phone, I look around, and realize that I am still standing in the christian bookstore....

[Gnaw Parker]

A new customer on his way out the door:

"Ya'll don't eat too much. Give it a whirl...."

[~Rumormonger~]

Walking down Gay Street.

Girl on phone: What? He was supposed to be dead five times already!